Tahoe Gone

What a fun day!

It started off well with a nice morning setting off from Tuscon. Would have liked to have spent more time there, it looked like a nice city from what I saw of it anyway.

Along the interstate I spotted the oldest Jeep Cherokee I have ever seen. What was I saying about American cars not having longievity. This was from the pre-built-in-obselescense days clearly. It must have been a hundred years old.

I also had the opportunity to clock the length of some of these freight trains - over a mile long some of them! (Having arrived at the Pony Soldier Inn, in Flagstaff, they run right past my window about every five minutes blasting their horns, so I have the lucky opportunity to see them close up from my bedroom window, and get a quick nod from the driver on his way past. Lets hope they don't run all night).

It occurred to me, as stuff does when you're driving for hours on end, why V8s are so important here. No seriously bear with me. I do love V8s, we all know that - there's nothing like a V8. Its the best engine there is, in my view. Anyway so here are my reasons for needing a V8:

1. Air Con. In 100F temperatures little air conditioners (as some of you will have no doubt found out in England over the last couple of weeks) are bloody useless. Need Big A/C. Need a V8 to power it - but here's why. In the hilly parts of the U.S. there are very long steep inclines, and at 65mph, a 4 cylinder car can easily overheat due to its increased rpm - particularly with the air conditioning on, there are actually signs telling owners of piddly 4 cylinder cars to turn the A/C off when going up the hills to avoid over heating! The signs read "Owners of cheap piddly 4 cylinder cars: turn air conditioner off to avoid over heating. Next time, buy a V8".

2. Cheap ass fuel. As I mentioned yesterday the Cheap Ass grade (labelled as Regular 87) is quite frankly rubbish. Therefore, a detuned V8 is about the only thing that can cope with it. Highly tuned European cars, BMWs and such like, have to run on 91.

3. Air quality. As the air quality laws are so stringent over here (there are so many cars and trucks that they have to be), the catalytic converters / tuning requirements sap so much power out of the engine, that a 2.0 litre 4 cylinder car loses most of it before it gets to the wheels. A big V8 is needed to get even reasonable power. Diesel has been a no-no in most places due to the fact is a very dirty fuel. Hence, everyone drives V8s!

So the other thing that has happened today is I've swapped the Tahoe for a Chrysler 300C.

That's that's right folks - the Tahoe has GONE!

So I was driving along as you do, and noticed an inordinate number of cops along the I-17 from Tuscon. I mean inordinate. Loads of them. Everywhere. Like flies.

I was going to be talking about this evening how this really deters the speeding motorist - which is does - and how they don't need stupid speed cameras to do it. But they have those as well.

So I was travelling along the I-17 minding my own business with the Blackberry, and bucket of Starbucks, with cruise on at the speed limit - 75. It was quite busy, I was in the right hand land (there were two lanes) and there had been people passing me at 80 or so, or faster for quite some time.

I need to point out two things, before I mention Billy-Bob and Cletus, Camp Verde's finest.

1. The drivers door mirror on American cars is plain mirror - it does not make anything smaller (like most European cars), and there is no blind spot mirror built on, presumably because if you check a blind spot mirror, and pull out hitting something, then Tiberius or Elrod think they can sue the manufacturer for providing a device which isn't completely fail safe. Therefore, your field of vision with the mirror is quite limited, and it is sometimes difficult to judge how fast someone is bearing down on you, and also their distance from the car. I thought I was used to it by now (having covered 3500 miles so far) though - clearly not.

2. There is a rule out here, that if you see an emergency vehicle with their lights flashing in the hard shoulder, you have to move over into the left hand lane, or slow down.

So I was travelling along quite nicely, until I went by Cletus in his cruiser who was stopped in the median. It was down hill at that point, so I checked Sat Nav bird who reckoned I was doing 77. Checked the rear view mirror and Cletus had pulled out from the median a few cars back. Oops I thought, better get practising my best British accent again. "I say old chap, what is the meaning of all this? You colonials. From good old blighty you know. Queens country. What what". So I slowed down, be foot on the brake, not hard on it mind, just enough to slow down to 70 or so. As I had been spending so much time looking for Cletus in the rear view mirror, who I had now noticed was coming up my outside, to be in the attack position - I call the attack position too close for me to pull into the other lane without causing him to slow down, but not along side me. So there was room for me to pull out, but I would have caused him to brake - I had failed to notice (until it was too late) that there was Billy Bob, sat in the shoulder, well over onto the gravel mind, with his lights on. He wasn't attending an incident, he was just sat there. So I went by him.

Out comes Cletus with his roof lit up like a Hanukkah tree right up me chuff. Oh balls. Cleared throat ready to deliver my speech. What what. Pulls over. Cletus radios Billy-Bob. Billy-Bob pulls up behind him. His lights on. Cars whizzing past.

So I switch the engine off, and winds down the window. "Oh good morning Officer. Jolly good. What can I do for you what what". Cletus peers in, with suger round his mouth and a coffee in one hand: "Weeeeeellll you loook abooouuuut as confoooosed as a goat on Aaaastro turf. Hic". His concern was that I had passed Billy Bob withough pulling into the other lane, causing Cletus to brake. Obviously I didn't profess my innocence at the whole thing, just let my best British accent do the talking "Jolly what officer. I do apologise Sir. Will watch my emergency vehicles in the hard shoulder. Jolly good show point taken what what. Be on my way then. What". Cletus: "Yeesssssirrrreeeeeee juuust as soooon as ahhhhh check out yer license and registration. Hic". Cletus walks back to the car, and gets another bite of his suger donut, and puts his coffee down to type something into the computer. He comes back.
Cletus: "Weeeeeelllll I think we miiiiight have a problem here siirrrr. Hic".
I faff about, in a typically British manner, looking for my rental documents and handed them over to Cletus. Apparently the Tahoe's registration tag is listed on a 4-door Pontiac, not a Tahoe...

After a while of eating some more Krispy Kremes (I never got offered one), and drinking some more coffee, Cletus decided to let me go with a warning on passing the Emergency vehicles thing. Even though I had slowed down, apparently Cletus had given me enough room to move over - but as I didn't, that's why he had pulled me over. He could tell I wasn't from around those parts, so let me off with the warning. The registration tags thing confused me though. I asked them if I could be pulled over again for that, to which they replied definitely if someone runs the plate again.

So I went to Flagstaff airport and got the Tahoe changed for a 300C, as apparently, according to the guy at the rental desk, they are checking out big SUVs with blacked out rear windows for drugs busts, and just make excuses to stop them. I mean strictly speaking the officer was right; I failed to yield to the emergency vehicle in the hard shoulder. But at least it was only a warning! However, as I don't particularly fancy being a target thought I'd change it. Seeing as there are probably quite a few by-laws I don't know the ins and outs of that I could easily get tickets for. He reckoned that the registration tags were all legit, but that worried me too. So time to see what the 300C is like, although already disappointed. Its the base 3.5 litre V6 (feels quicker than the Tahoe) but its small, plasticky and with no kit. And very small wheels.

That's the first time in 12 years of driving I have ever been pulled over! By Billy-Bob and Cletus though - how cool is that?!? LOL.